My Papa told me that my daughters will want to hear about the miracles--those little things that added up as sure evidences of God's hand in carrying us to them and then in bringing them home.
We have been blessed financially in so many ways. Ben was recently given a raise and a very generous bonus. We haven't had too many unexpected expenses and have been able to save. We took in Ben's vehicle last week for what we thought would be pricey transmission work and were told that all the car needed was some transmission fluid. Although they spent a great deal of time with it, checking it out, they didn't charge us a thing!
We found out last week that because my husband has been working for his company for 7 years he is up for a sabbatical -- 7 weeks of paid leave, which can be split into chunks over the next year. The notice he received suggested that he should start thinking about what he might want to do with that time...perhaps take a trip or visit another part of the world...and we chuckled. We know exactly what to do with that time!
And then, after we return with the girls, Ben is eligible for 4 more weeks of paternity leave! I can't imagine a more wonderful way to acclimate our daughters to life here than to have Ben home to share in the transition and extra tasks of forming new relationships.
Other miracles? Almost two years ago Ben's sister married a man who spent two years in the country our daughters are living in, serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and teaching people about Christ. After that time, he spent a year or two teaching others how to read and speak the language he spoke while in Eastern Europe. He has agreed to help us via FaceTime or Skype to learn some basic vocabulary and as much else as we can absorb. He will be an invaluable resource for all kinds of things. We are very grateful for his generosity and know that the Lord is in these details. (Although I am sure that *we* aren't the only reason Ben's sister married such a great man who happened to have skills and talents so suited to our experiences!)
We are in a state of exercising faith. (My neighbor reminded me that that is the whole story of our existence on Earth--we just sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that we have more control than we do!) The whereabout of the little girl we found on Reece's Rainbow is eluding our in-country facilitation team. The team that listed her picture cannot tell us where she is, according to in-country laws, and can only verify her location and other information if we tell it to them. In order to not just tie her up when we cannot guarantee that we have a clear path to adopt her, Reece's Rainbow had to release her from us and put her back up as a waiting child. Since that time, she has been picked up by another family. If they work with the facilitation team that listed her, they will be able to progress and move toward adopting her.
It brings back the question: is she my daughter? Or was she just a catalyst to move us forward? I still love looking at her picture. She makes my heart happy. If she is ours, the Lord will open up ways for us to find her and to work through all of the details. If she is not, at least my husband and I feel like we are still on the right track, working with the agency we are meant to, and doing what we should. At this point our option is to continue as we are and pray that the Lord will give us the opportunity to meet the girls we are meant to have when we travel and receive our "blind referrals."
Sometimes I am at peace with this and sometimes it drives me crazy. I find myself pouring over pictures on the national database of available children, but it is more out of my desire to do something than an understanding that the Lord is ready to tell me which children are mine. The pictures say so little. Most are terribly outdated. Many are not flattering of the children or show very clearly the challenges the children are facing on a daily basis. I have no idea what difficulties the Lord wants us to take on as we bring these children home, so I do not even know which ailments or special needs to rule out. Like I said, we are exercising faith, focusing on one task and then the next, and trusting that our Father in Heaven will guide us with what we need to know when we need to know it.
Adopting takes courage!
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