I finally tracked down info on how our paperwork is going. I had come to the point where I didn't care what was happening with it all, but that I just wanted to be informed! I don't know why I hadn't been kept up-to-date, but I found out yesterday that we do need some updated paperwork. Our Home Study needs to be re-written with some slight changes to better adhere to the standards of our daughters' country. And it needs an additional document to accompany it.
Here is the odd thing: the HS was overseen by our agency, and they read over every part of it. They suggested a lot of changes, which were made, before we submitted it. However, this vital and pretty obvious change was somehow not noticed and rectified. It is enough to make a person very aggravated (and has!), but it the light of the morning I remember that a loving Heavenly Father directs this process, and delays are not always as random as they seem. My daughter said to me that I should rejoice, knowing that God is in charge!
However, yesterday, after hearing the news, I had so much pent up energy that I threw dinner in the oven and biked down to a friend's house to de-stress, rant a bit, and get a hug. I realized that every day for the last week or two I have been expecting that we might get a call any minute that says, "You have a week to get on a plane," and I have worried about all of the things that are undone or needing extra attention. My insides have been like a spring that is silently getting more and more tightly coiled, and I needed a release. When I got down to my friend's house, she was out in the front while her children rode bikes, and her 2 week old baby was fussy. So I held him for her and she listened to me. It was a good trade. :)
I think I was also worried that these new documents would take a long time -- I cannot do either of them but have to rely on others to make the changes -- however, I received emails yesterday indicating that they are in process and might be in the mail to me in the next few days. That was very encouraging!
I wish I knew how to be more mellow.
Except that if you knew that you could get a call any day that said you had to be on a plane to a foreign country in a week and that you would probably need to be gone 4-8 weeks and that they would be some of the most soul searching and stretching weeks of your life (but just a precursor to many difficult weeks once you return home) and that you also needed to have everything in place for your parents to take over your current home life and to care for your children during the time you were gone, you might be a little on edge as well. The call could come any day or could be delayed months, and that is the real rub. It is hard to be ever "on call."
This scripture was shared on Sunday and seemed pretty apt. Why haven't I had it in my pocket this whole time? It is speaking of Abraham as he waited on the Lord for the fulfillment of promises regarding Isaac:
"He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in the faith, giving glory to God; and being fully persuaded that, what He had promised, He was able to perform." (Romans 4:20-21)
I love the term "fully persuaded." This is faith.
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